Are you in a toxic job and perhaps not fully aware of it?

You know, over the past 20 years coaching thousands of people looking to change jobs, I’ve heard some extraordinary stories about toxic workplaces.

And the thing about toxic jobs is this: they rarely look toxic at first.

There’s no warning label in the job advert. No manager says during the interview, “By the way, this place will slowly destroy your confidence, your health, and your work-life balance.”

Instead, toxic workplaces operate gradually. Quietly. Over time they wear people down until exhaustion, stress, and dread start to feel normal.

The frightening part? Most people don’t realise it’s happening until they are completely burned out.

So here are six signs you may be in a toxic workplace — and what you can actually do about it.

1. Your Work-Life Balance Has Completely Collapsed

Let me ask you something.

When was the last time you had a proper evening without checking your phone? When was the last time you took a weekend off and genuinely switched off mentally from work?
If you can’t remember, that’s not ambition. That’s a warning sign.

One of the clearest indicators of a toxic workplace is when boundaries slowly disappear. Work starts bleeding into evenings, weekends, holidays, and even sick days — and eventually everyone acts as though this is completely normal.

You feel guilty for not replying to emails immediately. You panic before taking leave because of what will happen while you’re away. You answer messages late at night because everyone else does too.
And the culture quietly rewards it.

Real work-life balance isn’t a perk. It’s a culture. Healthy workplaces are led by managers who model boundaries themselves. Logging off at a reasonable time isn’t seen as laziness — it’s simply normal.

So ask yourself honestly:
Does your workplace respect the line between your life and your job?
Or have you quietly accepted that the line no longer exists?

2. Your Health Is Starting to Suffer

This, for me, is one of the biggest warning signs of a toxic job.

Because people are incredibly good at dismissing what their body is trying to tell them.

Maybe you’re waking up at 3am thinking about work. Maybe you’re exhausted all week and then crash completely at weekends. Maybe you’ve started getting frequent headaches, stomach problems, chest tightness, anxiety, or constant colds that never seem to go away.

And then there’s Sunday evening. That familiar feeling of dread that starts creeping in late afternoon as Monday approaches. It isn’t harmless. It’s a symptom.

Chronic workplace stress keeps cortisol — the body’s stress hormone — permanently elevated. Over time that affects sleep, immune function, cardiovascular health, concentration, and mental wellbeing.
Your body does not distinguish between a physical threat and a toxic workplace environment. Stress is stress.

Your body is signalling that something is wrong.
I’ve coached many people who ignored those signals for years, believing they simply needed to “push through.” Almost every one of them later said the same thing:

“I wish I had listened sooner.”

3. Your Management Is Unsupportive, Incompetent — Or Both

In my experience, one factor determines whether a workplace becomes healthy or toxic more than almost anything else:

Management.

And here’s the uncomfortable truth. A lot of managers simply should not be managers.
Many were promoted because they were technically good at their previous role — not because they know how to lead people, support staff, communicate effectively, or create healthy teams.

So what does toxic management actually look like?

• Your manager takes credit for your work but blames you when things go wrong.
• You raise problems and are made to feel like the problem itself.
• Feedback is inconsistent or non-existent.
• You are blindsided during reviews.
• Your manager is physically present but emotionally absent.
• Fear and anxiety dominate the culture.

In more toxic environments, managers actively discourage questions, hoard information, play favourites, or create atmospheres where staff are afraid to make mistakes.

And over time people begin adapting themselves around the manager’s moods.

• They overanalyse every interaction.
• They become hypervigilant.
• They spend more energy managing upwards than doing their actual job.
• That level of emotional exhaustion is not normal.

If your environment lacks fairness, clarity, support, and basic human respect, that is not a personal failure on your part. It is a leadership failure.

4. You’ve Quietly Given Up On Your Career

This one is subtle. And often painful to admit. Think back to when you first started your job.

You probably had ideas, motivation, and ambition. You cared about learning, development, progression, and growth. You asked questions. You contributed. You wanted to improve things.

Now ask yourself this: When was the last time you genuinely felt excited about your future at work?

For many people in toxic workplaces, the answer is uncomfortable. Somewhere along the way they stopped thinking about growth entirely. Not because ambition disappeared — but because the environment slowly crushed it.

• Maybe their ideas were repeatedly dismissed.
• Maybe opportunities never materialised.
• Maybe development conversations led nowhere.

Eventually people stop trying.

They stop volunteering ideas. They stop raising their hand. And then something dangerous happens.
They begin believing they themselves are the problem. That maybe they were never as capable or ambitious as they once thought.

But often the issue isn’t the person. It’s the environment.

Healthy workplaces invest in people. They encourage growth, development, feedback, and progression.
If your workplace has slowly convinced you to stop dreaming about your future, that is a major warning sign.

5. High Turnover Has Become Normal

Toxic workplaces often reveal themselves through one simple pattern:
People keep leaving.

At first, it’s easy to ignore. Someone resigns. Another colleague disappears. Another team member quietly moves on.

Leadership always has an explanation.

• “They weren’t the right fit.”
• “They wanted a new challenge.”
• “It just wasn’t for them.”

But patterns matter. If capable, competent, high-performing people consistently leave the same team or department, pay attention. People rarely leave healthy environments in large numbers.

The strongest employees are often the first to recognise toxic environments — because they know they have options elsewhere.

6. You No Longer Recognise Yourself Outside Of Work

This is often the deepest sign of all and the one people realise last.

You’ve changed.

• Maybe you’ve become more withdrawn, cynical, irritable, or emotionally exhausted.
• Maybe your partner or friends have noticed you seem disconnected.
• Maybe hobbies and interests that once mattered to you have quietly disappeared.

This is what long-term toxic environments do.
They don’t just affect your job.
They affect your identity.

When you spend years in an environment that makes you feel small, powerless, or constantly anxious, eventually that starts shaping how you see yourself.

• You stop taking risks.
• You stop trusting people.
• You stop imagining better possibilities.

And most people assume this is simply “growing up” or becoming “more realistic.”
It isn’t.
It’s emotional exhaustion.

What To Do If You’re In A Toxic Job

Awareness alone changes nothing.
So if several of these signs felt uncomfortably familiar, here are four practical steps you can take.

Step One: Write down the signs that applied to you 

And I want you to go further than just a mental note. Actually put pen to paper — or open a doc — and write it out properly. Ask yourself:

• Which of these six signs did I recognise in my own situation?
• How long has this actually been going on — weeks, months, years?
• What have I been telling myself to explain it away?
• How is it affecting me outside of work — my mood, my relationships, my energy levels?
• If a close friend described their job the way I just described mine — what would I tell them to do?

That last question is powerful. Because we are almost always kinder and clearer with our advice to others than we are with ourselves. So be the friend. Be honest with yourself about what you’re actually dealing with.

Step Two: Talk to someone you trust outside of work 

When you’re inside a toxic environment long enough, it starts to feel normal. You need an outside perspective to recalibrate. So think about who that person is for you and actually reach out this week. When you do:

• Give them the full picture — don’t minimise it or dress it up
• Ask them specifically: “Does this sound normal to you?” — their reaction will tell you a lot
• Be open to hearing something you might not want to hear
• If you have access to a coach or a therapist, this is absolutely worth bringing to those conversations too

And I’d also say this — if your company has an HR department, it may be worth having a confidential conversation with them. I know HR gets a bad reputation, and yes, their primary job is to protect the company. But a good HR professional will at minimum point you toward your rights, your options, and the formal processes available to you. Go in informed, go in calm, and be clear about what outcome you’re looking for.

Step Three: Start documenting 

This step is not about building a legal case — although in some situations it may come to that. It’s about creating clarity and protecting yourself. Here’s what good documentation looks like:

• Write down specific incidents — not just “my manager was awful today” but the date, what was said or done, who was present, and how it made you feel
• Keep this somewhere private — not on a work device, not in a work email, not anywhere your employer could access
• Note any patterns you start to see — the same behaviour repeated, the same people involved, the same triggers
• If you ever receive a written message — an email, a Slack message — that crosses a line, screenshot it and save it externally
• If you ever raise a concern formally and it gets dismissed or ignored — document that too, including who you spoke to and when

You may never need any of this. But having it means you are never going into a difficult conversation empty-handed. And it has a way of making the situation feel less chaotic — because it’s no longer just swirling around in your head.

Step Four: Start exploring other options 

This is not about handing in your notice tomorrow. This is about gently reminding yourself that you have agency. That you are not stuck. That the world outside this job still exists and still has opportunities in it. Practically, here’s what exploring looks like:

• Spend 30 minutes updating your CV — not to send anywhere yet, just to remind yourself of everything you’ve done and everything you bring
• Reach out to two or three people in your network — former colleagues, people in your industry — just for a conversation, not a favour
• Have a look at what’s out there in your field right now — not to apply immediately, just to see what the landscape looks like
• Think about what you actually want next — not just what you’re running away from, but what you’re running towards
• And if you have a skills gap you’ve been meaning to address, now is a good time to start closing it — a course, a certification, something that builds your confidence as much as your CV

The act of exploring — even quietly, even privately — shifts something psychologically. You stop feeling trapped. You start feeling like someone with choices. And that shift alone can change how you show up every single day.

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